Writings by Kerry
These writings are part of a collection of contemplations, revelations and poems that I have had over the years. My hope is that they encourage and comfort you in your journey.
Selflessness
As a man thinketh so is he. The more I am changing and growing, my attitude and outlook on life and others has gone from self centeredness and getting, to unselfishness and giving. Its not what the world owes me but what I owe people and the world.
I have a solid spiritual foundation. My thoughts are of goodness and so is my life. As I am untwisting the past patterns and wreckage my mind is straightening out and I am in harmony, body, soul and mind.
Grief
The first realization I had after years of boozing and loosing and hiding myself was some huge chunks of truth about my ego centric self. My image of my idea of who I was, was not bruised or dented but smashed and shattered and I was left with nothing, with no identity, just my name and where I lived and with a vague knowledge I had 2 children and was an alcoholic.( This meant very little to me at the time.) My egocentric image of myself was that I was the helper of all who suffered, self sufficient to the core, quick witted, intelligent, patient:, kind, generous, easy going, likeable, a leader, a booster of all failing egos, giving to the core, accepting of all people and mother comforter.
Child of God
It is not God who had forgotten me. It was me who had forgotten God. Now I am never alone as long as I m aware I have a friend, who never leaves my side, who understands my pain and joy and loves me faults and all and accepts me as I am.
Through Gods intimate friendship and forgiveness I have been able I to accept and forgive myself and have found that God is within and all around and life is charged with power and beauty and I am His child.
Loss
From my first real experience came loss, and so it has been throughout my sobriety. Out of each realization of what the reality of me is, as opposed to what I have imagined or fancied I am. I have felt a great sense of self loss. I have mourned my passing or death and from within me. I HAVE CONTINUED TO GAIN in experience, faith, and knowledge of my limitations. I experience inner resources I never knew I had, releasing me from those people I had attached myself to and freeing myself from old ideas and encumbrances I thought were necessary to my very existence. So they were, but it was revealed to me they are not necessary to my spiritual nature.